CONQUEST (1983) Review

Directed by: Lucio Fulci
Written by: Gino Capone, José Antonio de la Loma, Giovanni di Clemente, Carlos Vasallo
Starring: Andrea Occhipinti, Jorge Rivero, Sabrina Siani, Gioia Scola, Conrado San Martín

Lucio Fulci has quite an interesting filmography as a director. Apart from his more well known gore films like ZOMBIE and THE BEYOND he’s also dabbled in spaghetti westerns (MASSACRE TIME, FOUR OF THE APOCALYPSE) and even erotic comedy (THE EROTICIST). And after the success of films like CONAN THE BARBARIAN and BEASTMASTER it seems Fulci decided to jump on the bandwagon along with the other thieving Italian exploitation filmmakers who thought they could make a quick buck. His own sword and sorcery flick was CONQUEST. But to give it his own unique flavor Fulci decided to mix some of his patented gore in amongst the oiled muscles, mythical creatures and cheap post-production effects. Sadly if you’re looking for a level of splatter akin to THE BEYOND then you will find yourself severely disappointed as although there are some nice scenes here (decapitations, zombies, head-splittings etc) it’s far tamer than what Fulci has done in the past. But if you’re looking for a bizarre fantasy adventure with plenty of action (and more importantly, boobs) then you’re in luck.

The entire film is shot in a blurry, soft-focus style which I guess is to try and give it a mystical and ethereal look. Unfortunately it’s far too heavy and it ends up looking as though the movie was shot using a jar of Vaseline instead of a camera and smoke instead of film. In retrospect I've decided that it could also be to help hide some of the pretty horrible effects work. Well played, Fulci. Well played indeed.
CONQUEST also happens to be the first of Fulci's films after ending his professional relationship with writer Dardano Sacchetti (Sacchetti worked with Fulci on most of his more well known horror flicks). It's also regarded by many as the beginning of the fall of Fulci. Why? I have no idea. In fact I think the movie is fucking badass.

The basic plot for CONQUEST is your average, generic 'hero must overcome obstacles to defeat evil oppressor' tale. However the way it unfolds isn't quite what you might expect. Ilias (Occhipinti) is the hero chosen by his people to traverse the land and confront the evil sorceress Ocron (Siani). Ocron's army of Wookie rejects are terrorizing the innocents of the land, smashing them and munching on their guts and brains. Ocron herself - despite being a sorceress - doesn't really seem like that much of a threat at all. In fact the most mystical and magical thing she seems capable of doing is writhing around in nothing but a gold mask and g-string while a giant snake slithers across her hot, naked body. Not that I'm complaining of course.
Ilias carries a magical bow that shoots blue freaking laser arrows and even though the effects look like shit the very idea of laser arrows is fucking awesome. He is also accompanied by Mace (Rivero), an animal-loving barbarian. Together they journey across the land, tackling beasts and monsters (including some familiar looking Fulci zombies) with the goal of overthrowing the sexy (but evil) Ocron.

Monsters, nudity, laser arrows, blood, gore - sounds brilliant right? Well it is. The whole movie is full of surreal and unforgettable moments, like the part where Chewbacca's cousins tear a woman in half, right down the middle. Or when our hero is attacked by some strange killer bush. And how could I forget the scene where our animal-loving friend Mace is rescued by dolphins? Add to all of this Claudio Simonetti's synth-heavy score and you've got one weird (but awesome) fucking movie. As far as CONAN rip-offs go this is the best I've seen and I'd honestly rather watch this over CONAN any day. If you can get past the annoying soft-focus, blurry, smoke-machine effect there is a lot to like about the underrated Fulci flick.